Ivory Consulting

Ben joined Ivory in the Fall of 1996, and performs a variety of software development duties. He is a graduate of UC Berkeley with a EECS (Electrical Engineering & Computer Science) degree, and has taught C++ and programming to professional programmers, using texts of his own design. He describes his work as "like using Lego blocks with motors and status indicators." Ben is widely read, enjoying classics of both the Western and Eastern traditions, and has wide ranging interests in both film and music. He finds time for these intellectual pursuits via the expedient of not watching TV. Dogs, and a big house to put them in: these are Ben's life goals. But he needs to be "ripened" a bit first - a process only he is fit to describe.

The alternate spelling can't hide that Doug is a direct lineal descendent of the famous composer of the same name (Duglas van Beethoven). Since the end of 1997, when he's not out rocking the world as a guitarist in local bands, Doug spends his time coding away here at Ivory - he's Festus to Rick's Marshall Dillon. Imagine a better-looking Tom Petty with a Computer Science degree from Cal State Sacramento, and you'd be close. Doug's prior travails include a decade as a chef (he can wax rhapsodic over substances that the rest of us wouldn't use for bait) followed by several years playing with software not nearly as cool as SuperTRUMP. Next time you've got him on the phone, request his grunge version of the polka classic "Who Stole the Kilbasa?" - he's always happy to comply. Doug currently owns most of the cool studio gear Joseph wants to buy, but because he is single he doesn't have to keep it in the garage.

Eileen is the color of the office (since that would be off-white walls with black trim, blond floors and walnut furniture, I have no idea what this means). Eileen once pursued a degree in psychiatric social work, training that serves her well as office manager at Ivory. Titanic makes her cry, even after 127 viewings, and even after Joseph has forwarded to her every unflattering article on the movie that has appeared to date. Crucial info: Eileen handles billing, and is Activation Queen. She has 3 daughters, 4 grandchildren and a cat with attitude ("I'll shed wherever I want - deal with it"). She also wins hands down the Longest Pointless Commute award, with a scenic 75-mile jaunt both to and from the thriving metropolis of Lodi. What some people won't do to wake up with alfalfa in their hair.

Jim is the consummate tinkerer, with a scientist's mind and an artist's soul. I'm thinking Dr. Science and Andy Warhol here. He can convert amps to volts at a given wattage instantly, while simultaneously repairing a bicycle - all without the aide of a single cup of coffee. Plus, his Masters in Divinity from the Pacific School of Religion gives him the moral fortitude needed to spend all day keeping Wintel boxes up and running. The BA from St. John's College is probably important as well. In addition to his hardware and network duties, Jim is also Ivory's master of customer support and documentation. He keeps the web site up (or down, as the case may be), and aides Ben in his endless search for a computer that does exactly what he (Ben) wants (Jim's personal view is that PCs work fine until you try to use them for what they're designed for). He also has the coolest stereo system among the Ivory staff - Jim built his own tube amps and pre-amp.

A former rock star and bon vivant, Joseph joined Ivory in October of 1997 as Imperial Galactic Overlord and Most Exalted Master of the Greater Mysteries, meaning he is pretty likely to answer the phones when Eileen has something important to do. He fields customer support calls and began delivering customer training, once we got that dangerous looking scepter out of his hands. While infiltrating various "pitiful earthling institutions", Joseph more or less inadvertently picked up a Liberal Arts degree from St. John's College, an MBA from San Francisco State, a few chops on the piano and a morbid fascination with sociobiology. Joseph, a simpering anarchist, help to found a school where students don't learn that they have to do lockstep what the authorities tell them to do. After finishing his mostly soundproof studio/torture chamber in his former garage, he is looking forward to impoverishing his family while furnishing the chamber with the latest unnecessary high-tech home studio gear (but only some of it will have tubes).

Rich travels the world to experience astronomical phenomena. Past trips include the Sahara desert and Sivas Turkey. His interests include astronomy, open source projects, reading, parenting, and an occasional bike ride. Rich is the last person to receive a B.S. in Math and Computer Science from St. John's University in Collegeville, Minnesota (since then they offer only B.A. degrees) Previously, Rich worked for a company where he wrote software for banks and for a another company where he wrote software for semiconductor test equipment. At Ivory, Rich is programming in C++, and among other things is currently working on a top secret project. All we can say at this time is that it has something to do with the SuperTRUMP server edition. We are happy to have him as part of our team.